Evaluate Your Relationships

Nicki PfeiferWhen God wants to bless you, He brings people into your life. When Satan wants to destroy you, he brings people into your life. And sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

We are in a season in which God wants to strengthen kingdom relationships. God wants us engaged in relationships that are healthy and productive, not burdensome and destructive.

There are basically two types of relationships: those that build up your life and those that destroy your life. Healthy relationships add to your life, bringing increase and blessing to you. Unhealthy relationships tear you down, drain you, and seek to divide you from God and the destiny He has for you.

Right now we need to evaluate the relationships in our lives. I’m not talking about relationships you have entered into such as a marriage covenant or relationships such as those you have with your father, sister, children and so on. I am talking about friendship-based relationships, business-based relationships and casual acquaintances.

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Ask yourself this question: “Are there people in my life who are bringing me down?” If so, then you need to consider how you can keep yourself away from their influence.

On the other hand, ask yourself, “Are there people in my life who are building me up?” You must surround yourself with these types of relationships that add to your life, not leave you feeling spent and deleted.

Now I will minister to anyone God puts in my path; however, I don’t personally attach with everyone I come in contact with. There is a difference between association and attachment. There is a difference between relationships of comfort and relationships of covenant.

This is a time to know whom you are attached to, committed to and in covenant with. You need to attach to people who can help you find your kingdom purpose and help you step into your destiny.

How do we know whom we should connect with? How do we create and maintain healthy relationships?

First, let’s identify what constitutes an unhealthy relationship: 

  1. People who constantly bring strife, chaos and stress into your life
  2. People who drain you and can’t seem to make it without you
  3. People who want to remind you of your past
  4. People who want to hold you back and keep you from your destiny
  5. People who don’t honor and respect your salvation and who entice you to sin

We must seek to create and maintain attachments that are healthy for us and bring blessing to us. What type of people do we want to attach with? Who do we want to enter into covenant relationships with? What should we look for in a healthy relationship?

  1. People who celebrate you
  2. People who challenge and motivate you
  3. People who make you better than you are
  4. People who see past your present and see your potential
  5. People who focus on your future, not your past

These are the types of relationships that God builds His kingdom upon. These are the kinds of relationships that help you reach your full potential. Look for these people. God has positioned them all around you.

But most of all, be that type of person and watch what God can do through you!

About the author: Nicki Pfeifer is co-founder with her husband, Mark, of Open Door Ministries in Chillicothe, Ohio (opendoorohio.com), where they serve as senior pastors. They are also the founders of Mark and Nicki Pfiefer Ministries (markandnicki.com), and Nicki is the founder of the Fire School of Prophetic Training, which has locations throughout the U.S., Asia and Africa. A recognized prophetic voice, Nicki is in demand as a speaker at conferences in the United States and other countries.

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