"Why, God? Why can't I have a baby? Why is this happening to us? What do we need to do?"
Like a helpless rag doll, I surrendered again to the sobs that consumed my entire being. This was such a feared, yet familiar, darkness. The pain of infertility was brutal and all-consuming to my soul. The shame of infertility stole every ounce of my self-worth. Was there any hope that I would ever conceive a child?
Because you are reading this book, I assume you can identify with some of my experience. The pain and hopelessness of infertility is quite universal. More than any other time in documented history, women and men are battling infertility. While both men and women can have a fertility problem, current statistics (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2015) show there are about 6.7 million women in the US and over 70 million worldwide who struggle with infertility. You are not alone in your pain or your mercurial hope.
But I want to do more than comfort you with the patronizing sentiment, "I know how you feel." I actually do not know how each of you feels deep down in your aching heart. But I do know I want to give you hope. Fresh hope. I want to say to you, "Yes, there is hope." And, I want to share with you our story of how we were filled with hope, cured of infertility and now enjoy a vibrant, albeit chaotic, family tribe of 28 and counting. This is our story, but it can be your story, too.
How do I know? I have learned many valuable lessons over the years that have convinced me how much God loves each person, including you. You may be a person who does not know God, or maybe you do not even know He exists. Maybe you're of another faith or maybe you're an atheist. You may be a committed disciple of Jesus or a lukewarm Christian. No matter where you may be on your personal spiritual journey, I am confident of God's love for you. This is a bold statement, and it is OK if it seems untrue to you. It took me time to grasp this life-changing truth. I desire to impart God's love to you in a way you can experience for yourselves. The same God who loves me, loves you.
I am also confident that it is God's deep and even passionate desire to give you children. Again, this is a truth I had to learn. I had many mixed-up beliefs about God, His character and His will. Now, I believe God is eager to bless every couple with children. This may sound audacious or presumptuous to you.
It certainly did to us at one time. You may be asking, as we did, "If God is so eager to give us a child, why can't we get pregnant?" My husband Happy and I were told there was a slim to no chance of our ever conceiving our own child. We both had serious medical issues. We had exhausted the available treatment options. Our cries to God went unanswered. We certainly had no idea God wanted to do miracles for us or anyone else.
Then, all of that changed. Not only did we receive God's cure and healing from infertility for ourselves, but we also went on to share with over 500 couples who, like us, received God's cure and the blessing of children. Many of these couples likewise shared with other infertile couples and rejoiced as they, too, were cured and had children.
Contrary to popular belief, God wants to bless every couple and He does not play favorites. He is truly a loving Father, and He designed the human race to enjoy family life. Again, this may be foreign to your beliefs, as it was at one time to ours. That's OK. I will share with you the many important lessons we learned on how to receive God's cure for infertility and His gift of children.
No matter the severity or impossibility of your current diagnosis, I encourage you to read this book. I am aware of the courage that may take. I am well aware of how dangerous hope can be. I often wanted to protect my heart from even daring to hope again when we were in the throes of treatment and trying. I invite you to open your hurting heart just a bit. I take this very seriously. I know how fragile I was when we struggled month after desperate month. It was often excruciating to lay down my armor of self-protection, crack open my heart, and hope again. I do not want to give you false hope. I do not want to add more disappointment to your shattered emotions. I want to give you fresh hope.
Happy and Dianne Leman have been leading The Vineyard Church of Central ever since the Holy Spirit rocked their lives in 1977. Together they boldly proclaim: "God is still doing miracles!" to their multi-campus church of over 3,000 people. In addition, both Happy and Dianne serve on the National Vineyard Executive Board. Dianne leads teams for Women in Leadership and Spiritual Renewal and Happy oversees Finances and Strategy. In their free time, they love playing with their growing brood of grandchildren, taking long walks together and loving the Holy Spirit more and more each day.
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