Dating for a Godly Man: 4 Keys to Success

Man and woman
What are some of the more difficult aspects of dating for godly men? (Imagerymajestic/Free Digital Photos)

Dating is one of the most interesting social studies. Two people with different personalities begin a relationship. With past baggage, a variety of cultural expectations, socio-economic histories, family background, values, morals and faith, you might wonder if it’s possible that dating can actually lead to marriage.

From the very opening line to the closing technique, finding dating truths for God’s men can be difficult because there’s not much “dating,” as we know it today, in the Bible.

For example:

Do you ever wonder what Adam’s approach to Eve was? Something like, “Hey, God made me. He made you. Let’s get it on.”

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Or Ruth, who slept at Boaz’s feet, in nonverbal communication that says, “Take me. I am yours.”

Samson jumped the gun with Delilah, falling deep into a premarital relationship that probably involved sex and eventually short-circuited Samson’s ultimate potential.

David never bothered to date Bathsheba; instead, he just had her husband killed.

Then there’s that book in the Bible called Song of Solomon. This interesting book is located in the very middle, or “heart,” of the Bible. It’s a lovelorn exchange of adoration between two people obviously very smitten. Song of Solomon shows me that God is a big fan of dating. It also tells me dating must involve respect, patience, self-control and fearlessness. 

Respect. Each player in this love story humbles themselves while showing ultimate respect for the other. I know men love to feel respected, but in Song of Solomon, the male writer also shows respect for his woman with compliments, protective language and encouraging words.

Patience. When two people are dating each other and cannot be together, there’s a test of patience. In Song of Solomon, I see that each player dealt with their longing desire by taking time to write down their thoughts. This is a sign of patience. If they did not write out these love notes, they could have become impatient and looked for another substitute.

Self-control. When reading this book, I wonder what self-control they actually had. For God’s man, dating must be an exercise in self-control. (I’ll explain in future articles the difference between “quick” and “quality” dating.) Ultimately, controlling your thoughts, words and behavior will show your potential mate you can be trusted. So, how do you show self-control? Trust God’s plan and obey His Word. She will totally dig this about you!

Fearlessness. Let’s face it: Dating is scary. There’s a lot on the line, including your heart. You have to take a step of faith and be fearless for God’s way. But if you have respect, patience and self-control operating in you, then there’s no need to fear. You can rest in the peace that God’s plan is good and you are following His path.

Kenny Luck, founder of Every Man Ministries and Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, provides biblically-oriented teaching and leadership for men and pastors seeking relevant, timely material that battle cultural, worldly concepts threatening men and God’s men. Follow Kenny and Every Man Ministries now on FacebookTwitter (@everyMM) and YouTube.

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