Fantasy Makes Men Miss Out on This

For many men, indulging in fantasy indicates a lack of maturity.
For many men, indulging in fantasy indicates a lack of maturity. (iStock photo )

Women want to love men who act their own age. That is, they are looking for 20-year-old men who act like they are 20 years old. Women are searching for 30-year-old men who act like they are 30 years old, and for men who are 40, 50 and 60 years old and act like it.

The problem is that women can't find mature men. In the crudest analysis, that means men who are grounded in responsibility, respect, commitment and sacrifice because men worldwide are diving into fantasy. It appears that men young and old are more interested in the "product" versus the necessary process required to make a good product.

More specifically, men of faith are bypassing God's process, "growing up" quickly instead of letting God mature them by using their circumstances to cultivate them and teach them discipline, patience and how to connect with women in a loving and caring way.

Instead, most guys today are diving into fantasy because they don't like the reality of their singleness or the reality of their marriage. Instead of embracing their reality, most men today are diving into porn or adultery to escape reality, creating some false macho image of themselves to avoid the harsh realities of life.

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Guys today don't want conversation, dinner and engagement with their female partners. They want instant sexual gratification. What guys today are missing—both single and married men—is the greatest virtue of all: love.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-11, commonly known as the love chapter which is frequently read at weddings, we learn that: "Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails. But if there are prophecies, they shall fail; if there are tongues, they shall cease; and if there is knowledge, it shall vanish. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect comes, then that which is imperfect shall pass away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."

This passage is talking about maturity, and if you want to test yours put your name in place of the word "love" in the passage above. Really—try it. The big idea is that it is fantasy to think you can develop maturity in a vacuum. Guys, we develop maturity when we are exposed to reality. Reality forces you to make choices. You become responsible, committed and disciplined, and you grow and become mature. Reality is the way to maturity.

Click here to watch the Fantasy Island series.

Kenny Luck is the president and founder of Every Man Ministries. As the former men's pastor at Saddleback Church in California and current leadership pastor at Crossline Community Church, Kenny has found the proven way to improve men's ministries around the world. Sleeping Giant is this blueprint, and gives men the tools they need to lead and understand their own men's ministry. Watch Kenny's teachings at and start your men's group today! Follow Every Man Ministries now on FacebookTwitter (@everymm,) and YouTube.

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