This One Spiritual Discipline Is Vital to a Healthy Marriage

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Prayer is an absolute necessity in your marriage. I am constantly amazed when couples tell me that the last time they really prayed together, not including praying over food or a good night prayer with children, was years ago. Sometimes they say, "We both pray, just not together."

Psalm 127:1 says, "Except the Lord builds the house, those who build labor in vain." The Lord must be part of building your house. Prayer is an active way to include the Lord as part of the building plan of your marriage.

Matthew 18:19 says, "Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father who is in heaven." As we've previously noted, this verse discusses the importance of two or more agreeing in God's name. It doesn't say when one agrees—it says when two agree.

Since Christ's resurrection, He intercedes with and for His bride, which is the church. The Lord sees prayer as being extremely important. God's pleasure is for us to commune with Him not just as individuals, but as a couple as well.

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Prayer is one of the priorities that must be set in place by a couple desiring more intimacy. Remember, intimacy is three-dimensional, involving spirit, soul and body. As we grow together spiritually, our intimacy in the other two areas will grow as well.

Prayer is just talking aloud to God with your spouse, similar to talking with a friend. Prayer doesn't have to take long hours in any particular position. It is the principle of connecting with God that is essential. As a couple, how often are you praying together? Take time and process the decision of needing daily prayer in your marriage.

The structure of prayer taking place within your marriage is one essential part of the three daily exercises that I have found vital for marriages.

Hopefully you have agreed to daily prayer. I know better than most that each couple has many variables. Some of these differences include sleep preferences, work schedules, children's school and extracurricular activities, church and fellowshipping with family and friends.

Look at your schedules. When can you pray together? In the morning? At lunch? In the evening? Take the time to discuss this with your spouse and see if you can agree on a time to pray together.

It's important to track your progress regarding daily prayer, to maintain the consistency that ignites the passion and intimacy you both desire. In this day of modern technology, those who travel often, can still pray with their spouse over the phone or FaceTime. This really demonstrates a commitment to maintaining your spiritual intimacy. Even if you're in Hong Kong, you can still pray with your spouse.

Remember that the structure first brings healing, then passion. As you walk together spiritually, your intimacy can flourish.

I love walking in the garden of my life with Lisa and coming with her into the presence of our loving Father. I really believe this has been instrumental in developing the strength and intimacy of our marriage.

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, 30 Day Marriage Makeover. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

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