Do You Have the Favor of Your Heavenly Father-in-Law?


As Christians, most of us would love for God to like us, not just love us. Many of us have visited or been visited by family members. There are some family members you might like more than others due to their personality, choices or their history with you or other family members. The ones you like have favor with you, while the ones you like less—though you may love them deeply as well—you may say have less favor with you.

I will use an analogy that can develop your understanding of the favor of God. Many of us who marry and become parents along the way will understand this analogy. However, even if you are not a parent, I think this analogy will still work to help you understand this.

Suppose one of your children has a unique talent in sports, music, engineering—any unique talent. You take your child to a coach or leader in their area of talent. This person agrees your child is gifted or talented and sacrificially supports your child. Regardless of this person's personality, characteristics or qualities, you are going to like or favor this person. This is really simple: When someone loves the one you love, you will favor them.

Look at this from another direction. Say it is the same child, and you take him or her to a coach or leader who excels in coaching or leading others in the area of your child's talent or giftedness. But then the person chooses to put your child down and discourages them, even shames them. Now, how do you feel toward this person? To say the least, you would not like (favor) them very much, would you?

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Notice that the second person did not love the one you loved, so you did not have favor for them. The first person loved the one you loved (your child), and they found favor with you.

Now, go back to you and your marriage. Suppose for a moment that God really likes/loves His child (your spouse). If you treat your spouse well by loving, serving and encouraging him or her, it is quite possible God could like you because of the way you serve your spouse. Conversely, if you treat your spouse (His child He deeply loves) poorly, discourage him or her or are consistently unkind to him or her, you might find yourself lacking in the favor of God in your life. I know God loves when I do laundry, dishes or otherwise help my wife, and when I encourage and praise her. I honestly believe I have many blessings in my life because of God's favor on me because of how I love to bless His daughter, Lisa.

Having a Father-in-Law God is not a bad thing: It is actually a wonderful thing. He is omnipresent, so it does not matter what country or city I am in; He is with me. He is all-knowing, so He can constantly give me revelation and wisdom in how to better love and serve my wife. He is also amazingly gracious when I make mistakes with His daughter, my wife.

I hope you are encouraged by having God as your Father-in-law. Having His expectations, His empowerment to be a servant to my spouse and knowing one day I will face Him for my actions and behaviors is comforting and motivates me to love and serve Lisa all the days I am privileged to have her as my wife.

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Servant Marriage. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at

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