When we come at our marriage to be served instead of to serve the other person, we are setting ourselves up for significant, unnecessary pain. If a man or woman is not a servant, he or she is not ready for marriage.
If there is not a servant at the very core of who you are, you have totally missed why you are here on planet Earth, and why you are married and received a family. Each responsibility is designed to expand your ability and capacity to serve with excellence and a great attitude.
The servant DNA in Adam became the second stage of God's creation of marriage. Just as Adam was created from dirt, Eve would be created from the bone and blood of a servant man.
In his process of becoming a servant, Adam learned several key things. He learned to be responsible for others. He learned to be consistent. He learned to be creative on a daily basis. He learned to work hard, obey God and enjoy God's presence during work.
Adam learned how to do his part. God did what was amazing and miraculous by creating the animals, then bringing them to Adam. Then, as part of learning how to be on a team, Adam did his part. Marriage is a lot like this. God does His miraculous part and we do our part—serving.
"But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. Then He took one of his ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man" (Gen. 2:20b-22).
God did not need Adam's thoughts or opinions about who or what woman would be. Adam had no ability to design a creature that would carry children and have several unique features women have. God was on the scene doing what He does—creating. God created Eve. Adam was the foundation of this building called marriage. He was created from dirt as a man and became a servant.
Eve was created with DNA from a servant. She was given servant DNA from the beginning. This answered a lifelong question for me: Why is it that women in every culture seem to innately and intuitively get the ideas of selflessness, consideration for others, and being creative and consistent in serving? They get it from Adam's servant DNA. They originated from much greater DNA than mere dirt. It is as if they get this DNA thing at—dare I say—a cellular level.
The Scripture says that "he brought her to the man" (Genesis 2:22b). This is important. God walked with Eve for a while before He brought her to Adam. Eve and God had their own relationship.
This is important as God moves toward His final creation in the garden—marriage. I cannot wait to watch the heavenly DVD that will show us what God and Eve talked about, and how long their trip was. Regardless of the details, God first established Himself in Eve's heart before He introduced her to Adam.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books, including Servant Marriage. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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