The Crucial Element You Need to Achieve True Intimacy With Your Spouse

True intimacy with your spouse cannot come without a relationship with God. (Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash)

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God" (John 1:1a). This Scripture passage goes on further about the oneness of the Word and God and how they were one with each other from the beginning.

I think this is the most romantic spiritual picture of intimacy. Oneness and togetherness are so much a part of God's will for us to have in our abundant Christian marriages.

I love reading the Bible and feeling the very keen sense that the author, the Holy Spirit, has intimacy as an objective for His readers from beginning to end. In the beginning, God made man and woman in the garden not only for fellowship with each other but for fellowship with Him together.

In the beginning, it is believed God daily walked with Adam and Eve until sin separated them. Could you imagine as a couple having God the Father teaching you how to love, commit to each other and feeling equally loved and understood? But the Holy Spirit does not leave us with only the picture of how God intended it to be in the garden; being intimate with God and each other. He also pens a great word picture of Christ and the church.

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The picture is the hero, the Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, loving and dying for His bride so that she could live and be with Him forever. This word picture closes with Jesus coming back for His bride and having a great big banquet to celebrate an eternity of intimacy with her.

God is a romantic, and He definitely is interested in the issue of intimacy. That is why it is so important when we start a guide to intimacy that we must also start with "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God." Intimacy without God is short-lived and incomplete. Even if a man and a woman could achieve intimacy, they would be incomplete without the relationship of our loving God in both of their lives.

My personal journey started with the love of God being poured into me through the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ. Without His consistent love and gentleness, I would know of nothing to write about intimacy. He is my greatest teacher on giving and receiving love and intimacy.

The Scripture that resonates this message loud and clear to us is Psalm 127:1a. "Except the Lord build the house, those who build labor in vain." This can be no truer than for the couple who is desiring intimacy within their marriage without God actively involved in the process which would be laboring without benefit.

Many reading this article are born-again Christian believers. There may be some who have not accepted the love of God for their own life. I pray that you will take a moment and ask Jesus Christ to show you His love, forgive you of the sins that keep you separated from Him and enjoy a life of living. Then you will learn about true intimacy from the master of intimacy Himself, Jesus Christ.

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books, including Intimacy. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, or on hisFacebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at

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