How Prophecy and Romance Intersect


In the Charismatic circles that I have been a part of for so many years, I often hear single people speak about how the Lord showed them that a particular person was to be their spouse. Sadly, most of the time, this does not work out.

The person who believed it was the Lord talking to them was actually a victim of his or her own imagination and desire. Or possibly he or she did hear from God, and the other person did not hear the same message. Some people wrongfully believe that God only has one person designed for them.

If you are single and desire to be married, God has more than one option for you. But what about the prophetic gift and relationships and romance? Indeed, God can prophetically put people together, but I will explain how I have witnessed true romance happen throughout my many years of ministry.

God does have a plan for us. It is a good plan, and He wants what is best for us. Usually in romantic relationships the way it works is the following. A man and a woman meet through church, work or some social event. A conversation may begin through texting. (Currently, texting seems to be the preferred method of communication for most people.) Eventually they spend some time together, and a friendship develops. It is a normal progression of gradually getting familiar with each other and becoming acquainted.

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As the relationship matures, they determine that there is a possibility for a future together.

Hopefully, at this point a couple begins to pray and seek the Lord earnestly. If they are committed to God and trust Him, the Lord will do several things. The Lord may shut the door on this relationship if it is not His will, or the Lord will begin to confirm His will for this relationship.

To me, this is where the prophetic comes in. Many people do not fully understand the prophetic gift. Typically, when a person receives a prophetic word from the Lord, it confirms something the Lord has already put in his or her heart. God loves to give confirmation, and if it is His will for this couple to have a future as husband and wife, there will be multiple confirmations.

When I met my beautiful wife, Christie, we had each received numerous confirmations earlier about our future spouses through prophetic words. Then the Lord continued to confirm through various methods that it was His will for us to be together. It is essential to understand that it is rare for God to prophetically put a couple together who do not know each other.

Typically, God works through a natural process of growing a relationship, and as the relationship matures, He begins to confirm His will for that relationship. If you are single, instead of waiting for a prophetic word for God to divinely put you together with the man or woman of your dreams, reach out and seek a friendship with the person you are interested in and then let the Lord have His way and see what He does.

A final story: I was a single father many years ago, and I met a beautiful lady at church. She was quite a bit younger than me, and I was smitten. We began a relationship. Soon after, I prayed and said, "Lord, if this relationship is not Your will for me, I pray for You to shut the door."

The next day the woman called me and said she did not believe it was God's will for us to be together. I knew that God had closed that door, and I was grateful because in the kingdom of God, when the Lord closes a door, He has something much better waiting for us, which was very true in my life.

If you are single and want God to show you your future spouse, I think your best path is to let things happen naturally and then wait for God's confirmation.

Dr. Ray Self is the founder of Spirit Wind Ministries Inc. and the International College of Ministry. He holds a doctorate in Christian psychology and a doctorate in theology. He currently resides in Orlando, Florida. He is married to Dr. Christie Self and has three sons and a daughter.

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