Why Do Women Dislike Each Other So Much?

two women arguing or fighting

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Prov. 29:18, KJV).

Women have significant contributions to make within their unique spheres of influence. So why do so many women have such a negative outlook on women? Where is our vision for who we are?

I am not speaking about a vision of what women need to do to be taken seriously. I mean a vision of who God created us to be. We women are the only ones to say:

  • I don’t like having female friends.
  • Women are just so passive-aggressive!
  • You can’t trust a woman.

The male population has not mastered life, either, but you will never find them bonding over the dislike of their own gender. Why is that?

Instead of saying we don’t like women, I believe it’s more accurate to say we don’t like the image women have evolved or adapted to represent. We don’t want to be limited or seen as weak, so we try to take on the persona of someone who is rarely seen weak. But you are valued, and you were created as a woman for a purpose. There are unique things inside you that only you can do, and you will only achieve them if you are fully who God made you to be.

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"Let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely" (Song 2:14, NKJV).

Lovely one, you are not who others say you are. You are who God says you are. He did not make a mistake by creating you as a woman, and you are not second-best. You have purpose. The passion, boldness, strength or wisdom welling up within you is not meant to be tethered. It’s intended to be set free in Christ. He does not want you to try to fit into the mold of something you are not. Each woman was created to contribute a specific splendor, love and beauty to the world. You are here for such a time as this.

What you offer might not look like the contributions of your sisters or role models. It doesn’t have to. The body of Christ is made whole through diversity.

If our understanding as women is that we are a problem, our vision is skewed. God does not make mistakes; therefore, you are not a mistake. It is time to realign our vision with the purposes God has for us. Are you willing to do this? If so, pray:

Father, I am sorry for holding to a vision that does not reflect Your heart. I repent, and I want to move forward in believing what You say. I believe You call me lovely. You created me with purpose. I am not a mistake. Help me to step into all You have spoken over me. Amen.

Adapted from Fight Like a Girl (Faith Words, 2006) by Lisa Bevere. Lisa is a best-selling author of Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry, Out of Control and Loving It! and Be Angry and Don’t Blow It! In addition to speaking at national and international conferences, she is a frequent guest on Christian television and radio shows. She and her husband, best-selling author John Bevere, make their home in Colorado.

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