I was talking with a friend lately about how it feels like for the past five-plus years God has asked me to give up A LOT!
Sometimes it feels like all I'm doing is giving up people, things, hopes and dreams...
Sometimes it has felt unbearable, and sometimes it has been relatively easy.
Sometimes the outcome has been good right from the start, and other times...well, I'm still waiting to see the good.
"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God: for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Psalm 42:5).
I don't doubt it will come...eventually. I understand that sometimes the good isn't something I'll be able to see, feel, touch or even understand. The good is going to have to be something I trust will happen because I trust God.
But I have to be honest and say that on one hand I'm tired of giving up things and on the other hand I kinda just wanna give up.
Even as I write that...I don't think I really mean it. I definitely have those "Good grief! I give up!" or "Lord, I just can't take this anymore. Please, please make it better...I feel like giving up." Or "God, I trust you. I'm giving this up to you." The last one would be the best one to utter most definitely.
So when I feel like giving up, how do I give my stuff UP to God?
How do I actively trust God enough to not only give up something, but give UP the resulting pain and sorrow and disappointment?
Do you know what I mean?
What does giving Up my stuff to God look like? I tend to give my things to God and then ask for them back.
God I trust you with my kids, but...
God you can have my finances, but...
God I understand your commands, but...
God I know you're there to listen, but...
God, I need your grace, but...
God I believe you have a plan, but...
Does anyone else struggle with this? Am I the only one who takes everything back and heaps it onto my own back again and again and again?
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).
Honest to goodness, I have no idea why I take stuff back. It doesn't make sense...really. I know that God's plan is best. I know that His way is best. I know that His timing is best. I know that His care is best.
I know that He is the best at carrying my burden...and yet, I take it back. As if...
As if, I have all the answers.
As if, I have all the power and strength.
As if, I have all the energy.
As If, I can do all things.
As if, I know what the heck I'm doing.
It really is a matter of trust. Do I trust God to handle my life? My emotions? My future? My children?
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