Out of resources
It took me coming to the end of my resources before I surrendered processed sugar. It was with trepidation, but it was also with this total knowing that God has the resources to help me through this journey.
God knows us, and nothing about us is hidden from Him.4 "But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are not as they pretend to be."5
I pretended to be surrendered. I sang "I surrender all." I said I made Jesus my Lord, that I was filled with His Spirit. However, God knew there was a locked pantry of my heart I wouldn't let Him in to purge and rearrange.
At that moment of surrender when I realized I was like an alcoholic only with processed sugar, I surrendered. I laid processed sugar on the altar. I clearly saw the life it had robbed me of.
Processed sugar was no close friend like I always saw it. It was my nemesis. And with God's strength in this area I would overcome it.
Moment of Change
It is hard to explain the moment of change. It's a moment when you are going one direction and you turn around and go the other. I was headed toward an early death by over indulgence. I turned around and headed toward life, overflowing.
I went home and the first thing I did was surrender my stash of candy to my son, who is very controlled in that area. I also knew if I told him to hide it and not give me any he would follow my directive. I did, and he did.
It was as if in that one act, God's power kicked in for this area of my life. In my prayer time that day, I invited Him to remind me when I was going astray. He has done so many times on this journey; most of the time I follow.
There have been times I have ignored His still, small voice saying to me, "What are you doing?" I would know exactly what I was doing. During those times, His power for saying no never left me. It was always there to call on when I would take the first step and once again repent.
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