Will God fail me?
I think if we're honest with ourselves, we've all asked this question—either consciously or unconsciously—at one time or another. In fact, it may be this very question that underlies our inability to give ourselves fully to God and His purposes in our lives. We think, perhaps God doesn't love me.
Perhaps God is too busy or too majestic to care about one individual such as myself. Or even if He does love me, even if He cares, He certainly doesn't care about each intricate detail of my life. Will God pull through?
Doubts come. Questions arise.
All of which are a part of the normal process of faith.
But I think the real question behind all our doubts is: Does God really love me? This is the real doubt behind our unwillingness to surrender.
It all comes back to love. We were created to be loved and to love others. When love is absent or love is in question, we lack security, which leads to our desire for control.
Without feeling secure in God's love for us, we cannot fully surrender. We may believe that God is good. But do we believe that God will be good to us?
God Failed Me
As a fifteen year old girl, I sat in bed, hearing my dad pack up his truck with my mom pleading in the background for him to stay. He left anyway.
God had failed me. My family was torn apart. Darkness crept in.
Five years later, I sat at a park after my dad's funeral, wrestling through so many thoughts and questions. I wasn't even sure if there was a God at this point, but if there was, He had certainly failed me. Darkness settled upon my life.
A few years later, I found myself on bed rest, trying to keep my pregnancy viable, while doctors told me there was no way I'd have a "normal" child. Something was wrong. Yet again, if there was a God, He failed me.
Many months had passed, and our daughter was born. Despite every doctor telling me to prepare for the worst, she was healed, and I found myself thanking a God I didn't know. It seemed the dark would win, but a faint light began to shimmer.
Three year later, however, darkness returned with vengeance and overtook my soul as I fell into an inescapable depression. Only darkness remained. But it was then––in the darkest of places––that I was able to see The Light for the first time.
Light burns brighter in the darkness, and there He was––The Light of the World––bringing me out of the pit, redeeming my life.
The Illusion and The Truth
God tells His people, "I will not leave you or forsake you" (Joshua 1:5). Once you are God's, you are His. He will not fail you, for it goes against God's very nature to forsake you.
God is loving. He is trustworthy. And He is faithful.
You can entrust yourself to Him and rest in His love for you.
Still, Scripture tells us that we will experience trials in this life. Satan would like you to believe that your trials are evidence that God has failed you, but this is only an illusion. It's a lie.
Trials have many causes. Some are caused by Satan, some are caused by the sin of others, and some are a result of our own sin or folly. But in all our trials, God is working.
Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
God does not intend us harm. He loves us. So the next time you're tempted to call God's heart for you into question, remember:
God's Word is true.
God knows you intimately. God loves you fully.
God is for you, not against you.
God is faithful.
God will not leave you.
God will work all things for your good.
And He will NOT fail you.
Give yourself to Him. Completely. Fully.
In 2010, Laurie Coombs was called to forgive the man who murdered her father. What happened as a result of that journey is chronicled in her book, Letters from My Father's Murderer (Kregel, 2015). She blogs at LaurieCoombs.org and is a regular writer for iBelieve.com and Crosswalk.com. Coombs and her husband, Travis, make their home in Nevada along with their two daughters and are in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia.
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