Dating: Fact Versus Fiction

Is dating with a group considered a date? Here's the answer to that question and other common questions.
Is dating with a group considered a date? Here's the answer to that question and other common questions. (Charisma archives)

In the Christian dating world, there are a lot of unanswered questions floating through the minds of young suitors. Here are the three most important things to remember throughout your relationship.

1. FACT: You are dating, not married. FICTION: If I start dating someone, then I have to marry him.

Although we should purpose our lives with the intention of dating to marry, sometimes we may not make the right choice. If, in the first few months of a new relationship, you realize that your goals and your standards are not lining up, don't feel bad about calling it off! Dating is this: getting to know another person. Marriage is this: deciding to attach yourself to another with like spirit and mindset. Don't mix the two up!

2. FACT: Sex before marriage will affect your marriage. FICTION: We're going to get married eventually so it doesn't matter if we do it now.

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TV shows, movies, music and the general media mass are constantly throwing sex in our faces. It can dull the meaning and the power behind it. We see it as a casual thing instead of a very meaningful and covenantal act. Don't let the foolishness of the world compromise the wisdom of God in your actions! You may not understand why, and I get it. You're feeling things and experiencing things that you have never felt before. But those same feelings that are so great and wonderful will feel awful and dirty if you don't handle them correctly. You can experience something so much more powerful by waiting and in return letting your spouse see that sex is sacred and meaningful instead of cheap and dull.

3. FACT: Dating should involve spending time with people. FICTION: When we are with other people, we aren't spending time together.

There are so many reasons why your dating life should often involve other couples and groups of people. Firstly, it is much easier to learn how to talk to each other when there are other people helping the conversation along! Also, people are great to help keep you accountable as you walk out your relationship with a godly standard. God has never called anyone to walk alone and that applies to your relationship as well! He has placed friends and family in your life to give wisdom, test you and help develop your relationship. I'm not saying you shouldn't spend time alone, but I am saying you need balance. Take time to go to a movie, supper or the park, but be wary of how much time you spend on the couch watching movies alone.

Balance is key! Learn how to allow people to speak into your relationship and also how to set an example for those coming up behind you!

SIDE NOTE: Nathan and I have talked about this and decided that some of our most memorable dating moments occurred when we were with other people, except of course for some of those funny moments learning how to talk together at the beginning of our relationship!

Remember: Have fun!  

Bailey Riza is a young, passionate, up-and-coming voice in the music industry. A worship leader, songwriter and recording artist, she has a wealth of experience and a dynamic approach to teaching and leading. She is a member of the Faith Alive Band and travels throughout North America performing and ministering in many different arenas. Her songs have been featured on the Faith Alive Show as well as on Daystar Television Network. Her latest EP, Coming Alive, topped the iTunes charts in Canada! She was born and raised in Saskatoon, Sk, Canada, and attends Faith Alive Family Church, where her parents are senior pastors. She loves her family, church and country and has a zeal to see this generation experience a powerful outpouring of God's presence.

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