Ever feel as though you are free-falling without a parachute and no one to catch you? It's as if at any minute you might plunge into the abyss of nothingness and no one would even notice? Although it's true that we all feel that way sometimes, God has everything under control if we turn it over to Him.
We don't have to worry and fret about what to do next, all we have to do is ask Him (John 16:24). He will direct us if we are willing to listen (John 10:27). And He always catches us when we fall. Free-falling is just a part of taking the journey with Him, enjoying the risks and challenges as well as the security of knowing He's got us (Psalm 18:32).
God has a destiny for each of us. We do not have to flounder our way through this life. We do have meaning, purpose and destiny. It is all found in Him. He desires for us to be His masterpiece, His handiwork, His poetry.
"We have become God's poetry, a recreated people who will fulfill the destiny He has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born He planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it" (Eph. 2:10, TPT).
I've known this truth for years. I knew God loved me, had a call on my life, something He had designed that only I could do, but I was too busy living for myself. But on the outside, it looked as though I was doing everything for everyone else.
I volunteered. I taught Sunday School. I led small groups. I published a Christian newspaper. I was on boards of directors for Christian organizations. I ran a business. I was a wife and mother doing everything I could for my family. And I was a glutton.
I see this same scenario often, and I understand it completely. As Christians, we are taught to take care of everyone around us first. To love others. We forget the last part of that verse, though. It says to love others as we love ourselves.
At 430 pounds, I was not loving myself because I was not taking care of my physical health. Truth be told, my physical health was just the tip of the iceberg. I was carrying tons more emotional baggage that left me believing a lot of lies about myself, others and God.
I ate to reward myself. I ate out of selfish desires to have what I wanted. This was not loving myself. It was doing harm to myself.
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