The Hidden Root of Destructive Decisions

Make sure your heart is free from this when you're seeking God for direction.
Make sure your heart is free from this when you're seeking God for direction. (Chelsea Ferenando)

One of the mantras women live by is their right to choose. It is a God-given right and no one can take it from her. She can choose what she does with her body, she can choose how she treats her husband and children, she can choose how she spends her money. It's her choice. No one can tell her what to do.

Yes, this is true: As a woman, you have a choice, and this choice was given to you by God Himself. He is not afraid of your choices, for He is the one who gave you the power to choose. He put two trees in the garden and said pick one, it's your choice (Gen. 3). Eve made her decision; she chose the tree of good and evil, wanting to be like God, rather than choosing the tree of life and trusting God. It was her choice and she chose. No one is trying to take away your ability to choose, they can't because God gave you the right of choice. But what if they were not trying to take away your ability to choose but were trying to reveal to you the consequences of your choice?

All people get to make their own choices, but with choice comes responsibility and with responsibility comes the need for wisdom. Not every choice will produce the results it says it will on the label. You can choose to have sex outside of marriage, but there are consequences; you can choose to neglect your children, but there are consequences; you can choose to pursue money, but there are consequences. The choices are endless, but the pain we face is not because we made the right choice but because we or someone else made the wrong choice. Whenever we choose our selfish desires, the results will always produce pain—not often immediately, but eventually.

Pain that is the result of our choices or someone else's choices leaves women with yet another choice. Women have the right to choose to be angry or break the alabaster jar. Whatever we choose will have consequences, but I will tell you up front: I have chosen both, and one produces life and the other produces death. Paul said, "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you are sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outbursts, and blasphemies, with all malice, be taken away from you. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you" (Eph. 4:30-32).

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When I struggled with being angry, I did not recognize it in myself. My husband said to me one day, "Honey, you are very angry."

I exploded, "What do you mean, I'm angry? I am not angry." But his words pierced my heart, and I sought the Lord.

This is what He told me: "Get rid of anger."

I said, "Lord, how do I get rid of anger?"

He said, "Just let it go."

So I exercised my authority and told anger to get out. I know it sounds simple, but the kingdom is not complicated.

Once anger was gone, I had another choice to make. Was I going to return to anger or grab an alabaster jar? In Matthew 26:6-7 we meet a woman whose story, as Jesus predicted, we still tell: "When Jesus was in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came to Him having an alabaster jar of very expensive ointment and poured it on His head as He sat at supper."

The alabaster jar was broke open and poured out upon Jesus; the smell would have filled the room. I know it was a literal bottle of perfume, but I believe metaphorically, it was this woman's broken heart being poured out on the Lord. You see, anger is a cover-up for pain, so people don't get close enough to you again and hurt you. Yes, I was angry, but what the Lord showed me is that I was hurting and didn't want anyone to know.

When we choose to pour out our heart to the Lord, it is like sweet perfume that fills the throne room. The Bible says David was a man after God's own heart (see Acts 13:22), and if you read Psalms, I believe it is because he was brutally honest with God about his pain.

Ladies, we have a right to choose. We can choose to be angry, or we can choose to pour out our alabaster jar of perfume. One will keep people away from us, and one will draw the presence of God to us so we can be healed.

Your pain becomes perfume in the throne room of God when you pour it out on Jesus rather than lashing it out on others. You have a right to choose, God says, in Deuteronomy 30:15, "See, today I have set before you life and prosperity, and death and disaster."

It's a woman's right to choose. What choice will you make: anger or alabaster? I choose life and prosperity. I hope you do as well.

Lisa Great is an author, speaker and blogger with Mouthpiece Ministries International. She has been in ministry for over 25 years. She has a B.A. in youth and family studies and an M.A. in education. She can be reached at; or on her Facebook page, Lisa Great.

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