Frivolous Fights Christians Should Avoid

James 11 gives the key to avoiding unnecessary quarrels.
James 11 gives the key to avoiding unnecessary quarrels. (Pixabay)

"What are the benefits of public school?" a person asked on Twitter.

I answered, "You learn how to get along with people who are different from you."

Instantly, without any notice, I was ambushed on Twitter by homeschoolers who thought I said '"home-schooling is Satanic." I said nothing about homeschooling. I answered a question about public school.

Unfortunately I innocently stepped into the middle of a conversation launched by a blogger pitching his pro-homeschool post. The Christian blogger had an agenda, and he used me to launch his crusade against public school. I quickly bowed out of this accidental argument and called out the blogger's agenda.

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The homeschool versus public school argument is one of those silly fights Christians tend to get into in the name of God. My friend Lee Grady posted an article about how Christians misuse the Bible. One way we pervert the Bible is when we attack each other with Scriptures. We think we're defending God's honor and the truth when we're justifying our position at our friend's expense.

The homeschool versus public school is one of the many silly wars we fight. I've seen these battles as well:

  • Moms with children who work outside of the home versus moms with children who stay at home
  • Purposefully single versus marrieds
  • Purposefully childless couples versus marrieds with children

And the list goes on and on. I was in a church where the pastor's wife wanted to debate me about my decision to work outside of the home. My mom had just died, and I had a baby. I was not in the mood for an open debate about my decision to work.

I respectfully told the pastor's wife that the decision to work was between God, my husband and me. We believed the job was a financial blessing and my children were being taken care of. "I think you've crossed some boundaries here," I said.

A week later she called, crying and repenting for her mistake. I was thankful she responded, but my guard was up in that relationship. That was the beginning of the end for me for that church.

While I'm a firm believer in seeking wisdom and counsel from respected, trusted leaders, I believe these issues, among many, are between you and God:

  • Taking birth control
  • Have kids or not have kids
  • Get married or stay single
  • How you date
  • Where you live
  • What you do for a living
  • How you spend your money
  • How you decide to educate your child

Some people can't afford to send their child to a private Christian school or lose income from a working adult. Instead of judging them for their decision to send their child to a public school, why not pay their way to a private Christian school? Paying for their tuition is a more constructive way of addressing your conviction about private Christian education instead of berating the parent for subjecting their child to the 'liberal agenda.'

Christians who fight silly wars are at risk for breaking this scriptural guideline for relationships:

Do not speak evil of one another, brothers. he who speaks evil of his brother and judges his brother speaks evil of the law and judges the law. If you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge. There is one Lawgiver who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another? (James 4:11-12). 

Who are you to judge your neighbor because:

  • They send their child to a public school
  • They homeschool
  • He/she doesn't want to get married
  • He/she doesn't want to have children
  • He/she wants to have a big family
  • She has children and doesn't want to work
  • She has children and wants to work
  • He/she drives an expensive sports car or an older vehicle
  • He/she is a different race, gender or economic class

Who are you to judge?

Instead of judging, let's love by praying and caring for one another. Let's fight for another, stand with another and respect each other's decision. Help an overwhelmed parent. Bring a meal. Take care of their kids. Celebrate life!

Leilani Haywood is an award-winning writer and online editor for SpiritLed Woman. Connect with her on Twitter or Instagram.

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