Holy Healing for the Soul-Crushing Agony of Marital Betrayal

(Unsplash/Julian Laurent)

Lynn Cherry never thought infidelity would affect her life. She dreamed of writing books, but never imagined a devotional book for women who have been through betrayal.

Soon after graduating from Oral Roberts University, she married a Christian man who graduated from Bible college and worked in full-time ministry. However, struggles lurked under the surface.

When the truth came out, she felt betrayed, angry and alienated by her husband's secretive, sinful indulgence, but among women, including Christian women, she is not alone.

"I was devastated by the betrayal in my marriage," says Cherry. "There were many days I wondered if I would survive, if I would ever feel alive again. My soul was a mess. I remember thinking that I was the biggest basket case."

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"And yet throughout the journey, God was faithful to bring thoughts and Scriptures that carried me. I knew I had to share them."

So she wrote a devotional book specifically tailored for women who have gone through this crucible, acknowledging the pain, sharing the rollercoaster ride of feelings and harnessing the hope found solely in Christ.

Her book, Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal, is intended to help women heal from the hidden wounds of betrayal. It is a multi-faceted book, replete with raw emotions and spiritual authenticity, helping the reader turn desperation into a healthier dependence on God. The daily devotionals are packed with encouragement to help a woman move forward.

"Readers of Keep Walking will find comfort in knowing they are not alone on the journey of recovery," says Cherry. "They will discover helpful tools and life-giving truths. They will find the courage to put one shaky foot in front of the other."

Cherry says, "I read a lot of books in recovery; some of them made me even more depressed. I wanted to create a resource that would impart hope in small, bite-sized pieces that a woman who is experiencing the world shattering aftermath of betrayal would be able to absorb."

The path to the betrayal that devastated this woman of faith was paved with pornography, creating a false, fantasy world that resulted in a bitter outcome. Porn is a problem in churches across the world. According to a survey conducted nationally between 2009 and 2014, 68 percent of Christian men and 50 percent of pastors view pornography regularly. Approximately 20 percent of women also reportedly struggle with addiction to pornography.

Not only is the church not ready for the long-term effects of this epidemic, but it's also not prepared to minister to all the spouses who suffer because of the sex addictions that their partners bring into their homes.

Lynn Cherry's book meets an unmet need in the church. Her book speaks from one woman's wounded heart to other women's wounded hearts, ultimately finding a place of shared hope and freedom from a multitude of issues, including shame and doubt. Can a woman trust God again?  Through deeply personal stories, self-examination and revelations in her book, Cherry shows how.

"I believe my book very gently offers the truth of God's word along with relatable stories and practical tools," she says. "I'm taking readers to the Bible, but I'm not slapping a Scripture on their gaping wound." 

The biggest lesson Cherry says she learned was that there is a way through the adversity and through the pain. "God called me with Isaiah 43:2. When you pass through the water and when you walk through the fire, there is a way through! Keep Walking, baby," says Cherry.

To save her marriage in the aftermath of the betrayal, Cherry went through 48 weeks of Christian counseling with therapists who specialize in affair recovery (affairrecovery.com). "It takes two people committed to do the work in order for a relationship to be restored, but no matter what happens with our relationship, we can hope in the promise that God will restore our soul. Psalm 23 reminded me that the Lord restores my soul. That is what God does. He redeems; He restores."

Now, this woman has her groove back. "Just put one foot in front of the other and keep walking."  Her book is now available on Amazon. More information is also available at lynnmariecherry.com/.

A.B. Petrucci is a freelance writer.

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