I must have asked God why a zillion times through the years. Why am I the way I am? Why do I think the way I do? Why do I react like that? I have finally received understanding. Have you ever asked the Father these same questions? At this point, it all has been revealed. When trauma happens at a young age, we do whatever we have to do to survive it.
We grow up with these tendencies. No matter how old we get, how much money we make or what education we have, if we are not delivered, we will tend to revert back to protection mode as that young child. If we have not ever been taught anything different, we can tend to react in that same way we did as a child.
I had never been told I was pretty, worthy or smart. Growing up, I heard just the opposite.
I was molested at age 10. From this point on, I thought that to get attention or be wanted, I had to give men my body. Whenever I felt abandoned, I would resort back to that broken, abandoned, abused little girl.
Many of my intimate relationships with men were challenged. I often felt abandoned or mistreated. I feared being rejected and left alone. I would page the men (back in the '80s) or call their cell phones a thousand times to make sure they answered. I would take an attitude whenever they weren't there when I wanted them to be. I felt unworthy and insecure.
I had trust issues. I repeated this behavior for years. I thought it was my way of protecting myself. I would curse the men in my life, ripping them to shreds with my mouth, thinking this was helping me. Yet with this behavior, I was actually hurting myself. I chased many men away from me. I lived a life in brokenness. I wanted to be free. I just never knew how. Why was I so broken? I thought I could hide it, but those emotions would stir up, and even in the most sophisticated way, my actions would still scream, "broken, abandoned, insecure 'little girl.'" But God has revealed to me that He can deliver us from this spirit. It's actually generational.
If we allow God to do the work and we remain in freedom, this will break the generational curse. I never wanted my son to experience life as I had. So your "why?" will get answered. The question is whether you will make the necessary changes. Will you humble yourself and trust God completely with your life? I realized I was tired. I was willing to do whatever it took to walk in freedom.
Some of you may find this little-girl spirit is a problem for you too. After it is dealt with, marriage will be in store for some. New relationships are waiting for you to break its power. Job opportunities awaits and so much more.
Continue to ask God why. He is answering. Every lesson learned is a layer being peeled away and more of your soul being healed. Come out of agreement with the little-girl spirit. It's hard, I know, but God has a better way for you to deal with your emotions.
It is time to grow up. He wants us mature for the life He has predestined for us to have.
Gina R. Prince is an apostle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She has a podcast show called "The Keys Against the Enemy" on cpnshows.com. Connect with Gina on Instagram and Twitter @ginarprince as well as Facebook at "The Keys Against the Enemy." Visit her website at drginaprince.com
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